How to Get Us Teenagers Talk to You

Being a Teenager means for us to go through a most chaotic period. We are told to suffer from mood swings, be impulsive, and have unfinished brain growth. This is not all; we are also told that we are going through hormone changes and confused minds. This period is a twilight zone between child and adult. There are so many ups and downs, misinterpretations, and sensitivities. Also, on the other hand, we are really feeling uncertain; lonely and impulsive. We often feel like, “No one understands me,” “I am utterly lonely,” and “Adults are so stupid.” And even worse, “I am so stupid.” Everything seems to be a struggle and chaos. We thinkthat our parents and the world around us do not understand us.

Teens are told that we teenagers are unpredictable. But the world around us is unexpected. Deep down, we cry for support from our parents or caregivers, but we cannot show easily that this is what we need the most.

Yes, we teenagers do want to be on our own for the most part as we yearn for freedom and independence.

Many young adults will say, looking back. “This period of my life could have been the best time to build a support system with many friends. Think of my future path, choose mentors that could guide and steer me in the right direction. And prepare me to successfully move out into the future when I fly out of the bird’s nest!”

Parents who recognize these fundamental needs would be a privilege for any teenager.

What can parents do?

Words of Advice from a Teenager: The first and foremost step is to start listening to us. We need parents to listen without judgment. We welcome suggestions, but they should not be forced on us. The key is to trust us, allow us to make reasonable mistakes, guide us in learning rather than take it away, and stand by us when we have made mistakes. As a parent or adult, you might have the authority, but what is the use if we cannot agree and have no trust? Over time, when we feel heard, understood, trusted, and supported, your influence and advice on our decisions become more powerful and credible.

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