How to talk so your teenager will listen

Gentle Parenting: What was that proverbial saying we learned as children: “Talking is Silver and Silence is Gold”? Do you want your teenager to listen to you? So do these steps:

1. First, listen to them! Listen when they talk.
2. Keep an open heart and an open mind. Put yourself into your teenager’s world. At least for this minute while you listen.
3. Your emotions shine through. Relax. Teenagers are best observers of non-verbal body language.
4. Abstain from Judgement. Only listen and try to understand. Keep an open heart and an open mind. At least at this minute.
5. Let your teenager relax. Later is plenty of time to discuss, to object and to give your opinion. Not right now. Teenagers should not defend themselves.
6. Your teenager pretends to be so sure because they often feel criticized and misunderstood by you. They are not so sure. Your wisdom is essential to them, but they won’t let you know.
7. Your timing should too. Every teenager has their own time. Get into the rhythm of your teenager’s brain. Know your timing to make your words invaluable.
8. Only once the situation is calmed down are you both very calm; only then will you talk.
9. Know thy words. Good thought, a good word, a good deed.
10. Your teenager has his/her world. Your world is not always the right one. Know the values that you both share. Start talking from a common ground!

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