Mom shaming and how it affects mental health

Well, we usually hear positive and good things about motherhood; but we hardly hear about the difficult things moms go through. Most women will agree that being a mother is not easy for several reasons, and one of them is mom-shaming, which comes almost every day for a new mother. For the unversed, mom shaming happens when someone questions a mother’s parenting skills as mother’s choices differ from theirs.  Moms-to-be or moms are usually questioned about their decisions regarding childbirth, breastfeeding, education, and whether to work or stay home, among others. Many people are unaware that mom-shaming can lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.  

A  2017 Michigan Medicine’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital poll shows that around 70% of mothers feel they have been mom-shamed. Unfortunately, with the advent of social media, mom-shaming attacks have worsened. When mothers cannot meet certain expectations, they are made to feel like failures or made to feel insecure. Social media shows details of mothers and how they are raising their kids, and strangers can easily comment on their choices, see their photos and videos and devalue what they don’t like. 

How to prevent mom-shaming

One of the important things to remember is not to judge a person’s choices, as there are many factors when someone decides in a certain way. And not everyone has similar or same choices. It also becomes important to see the positive and be compassionate instead of focusing on the negative side. Ideally, give a neutral response if you are confused. Instead of pointing out their mistakes or how they are doing as moms, ask the mothers how they are doing today and whether they are taking care of themselves. Ask them whether they need any help.

How to cope with mom-shaming

Focus on your self-care. Being a mommy is not easy as it can be challenging and exhausting and usually, moms forget to take care of themselves as they think that perfect moms have to be always hands-on and alert. They fear that people will judge them for prioritizing themselves over the baby. However, some me-time will empower them both physically and emotionally.

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